So frustrated.

Sometimes I just can't think right.
I dunno what's wrong.
You know how some people think in words, some think in pictures?.. I think I think in music. In tunes, not lyrics. When I want to post the music I'm feeling, the words don't fit.
...I also think in sighs =_=
Sometimes I want to express myself but nothing comes out.
...Most of the time really.

Is it the tea I drank?? @_@

I am not gay. I am not gay. I am not gay.
I am straight. I am straight. I am straight.



Darn that's a guy =_=
I am still straight. I am still straight. I am still straight.
I will remain straight. I will remain straight. I will remain straight.

Is it just me or is the word straight starting to look weird?




Seriously.. I'm straight. I know you trust me.

It's settled =)

Hey everyone..! Here's a note that I've changed my number from 013-2189223 to 016-6386820.

=D

Thirty Seconds to Mars - A Beautiful Lie

I embedded this one from imeem cause I want you to see a more high quality video, and I thought imeem has better quality compared to YouTube. There's a longer wait though.. sorry. Just click play and pause and wait for it to load(you can read the lyrics). It's worth the wait especially if you haven't seen it before, unless you have MTV lol.. it's not easy to miss. I think it's just unbelievable.

Enjoy =)



Heck, here's the YouTube version if imeem really takes too long..


Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game

It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game

So beautiful, beautiful...
(A beautiful lie)
It's So beautiful, beautiful...

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me


This music video was released on the 30th of January, so it's still quite new =P
The words at the end says "TURN THIS OFF AND GO OUTSIDE AND BREATHE"

Boys Like Girls - Hero/Heroine



It’s too late baby, there’s no turning around
I’ve got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud
This is how I do
When I think about you

I never thought that you could break me apart
I keep a sinister smile in a hole in my heart
You want to get inside
Then you need to get in line
But not this time

Cause you caught me off guard
Now I’m running and screaming

I feel like a hero
And you are my heroine

I won’t try to philosophize
I’ll just take a deep breath and I’ll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And its so surreal

I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don’t know why
You’d even try
But I won’t lie

You caught me off guard
Now I’m running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart all locked down
And then you turned me around

And I’m feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It’s not complicated
I was so jaded

And you caught me off guard
Now I’m running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart all locked down
And then you turned me around

I’m feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It’s not complicated
I was so jaded

....... 0000000
...... 000 .. 000
..... 000 .... 000
.... 000 ...... 00
.... 00 ....... 00
.... 00 ....... 00 ............... oooooo
.... 000 ..... 00 ............... ooo . oo
.... 000 .... 00 ................ oo .. oo
..... 0000 .000 ................. oooo ooo
....... 00000 ... 000000000000000 .ooooo



10th post.

I'm sorry, but this is going to be..

Emo.

I guess.


Dude.

You could've told me earlier.

You just killed me.

You-killed-me.

I. Am.

DEAD.

Worse than emo.

It's not even being emo.

Since when was being DEAD being EMO?


I'm not angry.


Ok maybe I am.


You said it was obvious.

Sure, I did suspect something.

SUSPECT.


No more than that.

You went on.

Let me go.

And like I said.

Killed me.

You think I'll keep going?

He's my friend.


You know what?

I'm not gonna let you take him away from her.

I'm not gonna let you make me.




It's her choice.



Sucks that you don't read my blog, you won't hear any of this.

Sometimes

I can't help but think

Some people

Just don't seem to get along with me very well

But

Turns out

I just don't talk enough

Still

Maybe it's really the former

I don't want to be in the dark about this

I don't want to be alone

I don't want to be left behind

I don't want to be unwanted

Am I selfish to want more than God?

Sad that I can't see you just a little more each day

On the first week of February, Yuan Ning told me that our old friend Rachel would be having a gathering in her house around CNY. So I later smsed her about it, and in a few days she confirmed it to be on the 16th (Sat). I was elated! XP We smsed and smsed Kuen Cheng 1 6Mers of 2003, posted bulletins on friendster and told them on msn. Some replied and said they could go, some couldn't, and some didn't even reply.
Then came the Thursday of that week. About 10+ people confirmed coming. We were quite happy =p Friday night, Yuan Ning told me on msn that she's sick. So she might not go. I dunno what happened to the other people, but on the day itself, only me and Yinthong, one of the first to confirm, could go. She told me to bring my guitar, and I did.

Sooo.. I went to Rachel's house (big, nice, clean, spacious and safe) at 1pm (a bit late..). She said no one was there yet and let me in. Her relatives were having lunch, so I went to the um.. coffee table first. After chatting for a while, she smsed Yinthong to ask her what time she's coming, but she didn't reply. Then we had lunch.. steamboat =D To tell the truth, I don't even remember the last time I had steamboat. Must've been years.. but yeah, it was ok. Then we had fruits-strawberries, grapes, melons,..- with a mini chocolate fondue thingy, which i liked =D even though the chocolate was too thick lol.. Some time later Yinthong said she couldn't come. Dulan!! (bad word yeah sorry)

So much for a gathering.

We talked a bit, played the piano a bit, onlined abit, played my guitar a bit, sang a bit, and she showed me her room.. it was huge @_@ but kinda empty lol. But it's nice. I like it =P

Talked till about 5 or 5.30, then I told my dad to come. Had church to go to. We talked some more, n at 6 my dad called n said he's just coming to get me =_= missed church then.

Did I mention her dog(s)? Kyoko is a really cute I-forgot-what-breed toy dog wearing a red dog-cheongsam that was soo cute XP It kept jumping on me n playing with me, it couldn't get enough of me =D the other one was in a cage outside the house. It only barked at me. But it's a white dog, I like it. Whee. =P


I really felt awkward talking >.> As you should know, I don't talk very much, and I can't really bring things up. So obviously there were awkward moments of silence especially when her dog wasn't around. And she has a boyfriend.

Still, we did talk about stuff like college, the differences in our schools, and how her whole school has only about 2 or 300 students. (I kinda think that being able to list what we talked about means that we didn't talk much =_=") And more of course.



My fellow ex-classmates, where art thoust hearts??

...Scratch that.







Moving on, someone recently told me through a mutual friend that she wants me to be her kai gor. (O wait that was on Friday after Valentine's) My first thought was that I didn't know her >.> Then came the thought that I had NEVER had a single kai gor or kai mui before @_@ I didn't know what to say!! I didn't want to upset her by saying no outright, and it would be nice to have a 'sister'.. but I haven't had to take care of anyone all my life(thus far)! I bully my younger brother every day =_=

So I was kinda holding my breath, and I wanted to say "um.." ...it came out something like "urb.." -_-''

My answer:

"Aaanything..?"

My problem now is that I don't know her name. I think I recognise her, I've talked a bit to her twice now.. ok not really. I said hi twice and 'jut'(u know.. that kissing sound >.>) once. And "You need coins?" =_=
I'm not even sure if it's her!! I didn't really have a good look at her face when her friend helped her ask me. I'm sure she doesn't want me to be her kai gor any more by now >.>





I did something for freestyle in the scouts Core of Honour picture (yeah I'm in it and i'm honoured =D).. please please get a hold of it when it's printed XD I'm also glad to be wearing the long sleeved uniform, my Assistant Patrol Leader badge and the longyard(omg that's correct right? the black string 0.o), all of which were bought and sewed the day before XP

I wish I joined Interact earlier =(


As most of you know, Pn Lee Kim Lai (...that's her name rite? somehow it looks weird.. o wait was it Pn. Hun??) made an announcement today about the last paper being shifted to the 28th of February. EVERYONE went like "WHOOOOAAAAAA" and I seriously don't remember what the next announcement was about. So now I'm having accounts before history. I guess y'all don't think I have it as hard as having bio, but you know what.. the only thing they're doing is that they're making me fail accounts a week earlier. Maybe I should drop it.

Read in the papers that all the public exam dates have been adjusted to "prevent truancy (my ass)".. I don't think SPM was affected too much, but PMR is really freakin screwed up... Oct 13 to 15, then NOVEMBER 4-5. I'm not having PMR this year, but what the heck?? That's wasting people's time!! What's the half-month gap for?? Now Program Selepas PMR(or is it Paintball Selepas PMR? lol)'s gone. Even my grandfather says Hishamuddin is freaking stupid =_= but not for that reason XD one of the only things I support my grandfather about lol.

Btw, there were THIRTY-FOUR pages of Malaysian politics in the Star today.. DO PEOPLE REALLY CARE??? BN IS DEFINITELY GONNA WIN so give more space for entertainment which only has 1 page at the moment =_= (not including Edison Chen's latest scandal apology crap and StarTwo)


It's 3.30am. Thank me for finally posting something worthwhile(worth a long while actually) XD


Or you could flame me for burning your eyes. >.<


Good night/day/afternoon/evening =P



Wither youu wither youu wither you... XP


I want Jay Chou concert tickets ASAP!! 013-2189223 just in case a miracle happens..

Tagged by Elyse.. works for an update =/

Your 5 impressions of him/her:
1. ..appreciative
2. smart
3. ....celebrates Valentine's day
4. (dang i'm bad at impressions >.>) ..understanding??
5. i'ma stop here sorry >.<

When was the last time u chatted with no.6?
about 2 days ago

Does no.4 work?
nope

Does no.8 have any cousin(s) in his/her skool?
not as far as i know

Will u woo no.8?
maybe

How about no.5?
maybe

Does no.2 have any siblings?
yeah, 1 sister at least

How did u get to know about no.3?
christian fellowship

Where does no.1 live at?
malaysia. lol

How did u get to know no.2?
classmate in form 2

Is no.5 the sexiest person in the world?
maybe not the sexiest in the world, but who comes close??




my lips are dry, i tried to laugh and it hurt.. but they're not dry =_= "

Happy Chinese New Year to all =D

While most people would go shopping, return to their hometowns or both on the eve of Chinese New Year, my family took a different approach...





WE WENT ROCK CLIMBING.


Yes. And we didn't even buy new clothes.


At least I had fun. =P Sadly, I failed to do better than my brotherS (younger and elder).. because I climbed on the easy walls too much.

*climb*jump off*climb*jump off*

By the time I got to the harder ones,

I couldn't hold my fist.

Wasted my time and my parents money. Ok, not exactly. I'm glad we had fun.

The.. owners even gave us mandarin oranges =P lots of them.. cuz they were gonna close for 5 days, they'd rot by then. The mini ones were really good XD

Merentas desa was yesterday...

It was my last one in CHS. I decided some time ago to do my best and get top 30, so I asked some of my friends how they run.. Leong Wei Ruen said sprint at the start and jog all the way.. kinda impossible for me. I ran with Kai Jie during the last house practice.. what he did was maintain a slow jog throughout all 4 rounds. This one was better, I managed to jog about 2.5 rounds, but had to walk a bit for the rest. Later he told me to just minimise my steps if I got tired.

So I did that on the day itself..

And managed to jog about 3/4 of the way =) I still had to walk after that, though..
Near Taman Jaya, I caught up with John and started walking. He said he was hungry >.> That's the big problem with running with your friends.. they can slow you down. So I jogged with him after that, till Taman Jaya. There, I asked a scout (known as duck to 9th pj members lol forgot his name >.>) for the time.. he said there were 10 minutes left. I was quite relieved, so I jogged faster.. then I got tired again. Walked and jogged for a while more then John sprinted way ahead of me =_= when I got to the uphill slope, I sprinted with all I had.. then got tired again, walked a bit, then sprinted some more about 50 metres away from the turning into school.. Elle and gang were there cheering (thanks lol).. I sprinted past quite a few people.. then I got tired again @_@ jogged the last bit, couldn't get past the 2 Form 6 purple house people cuz I was too tired from sprinting.. when I got onto the Tapak, someone was telling me there were people catching up, so I sprinted.. or jogged, couldn't tell.. got my point card and kinda wobbled over to the counter and supported myself with the table. Doraemon Lim was like "woah so tired ar??" DUH!!=_=

My younger bro appeared out of nowhere and handed me his water bottle. What did I do to deserve that?? Wow.


So yeah. I did my best in 5 years and I still only got 1 point. Uh huh, at least it's one point. I'm proud of myself, but not to the brim.

During the prize-giving ceremony, I, with the Blue House AJKs, cheered for our house. And I don't even have a post. I mean, I stood with them and lead the house to cheer for the winners.

I'm proud of myself at that. XP Even if a lot of people were dead.

Pn Lim Yoke Keng was high. hahahaha